I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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