After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
