yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So many bounce houses so little time
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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