Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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