Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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