I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You've changed since you got that strap on
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
