I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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