What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
