Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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