id be glad to
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
