I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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