she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
