Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
