So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
