Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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