You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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