I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
