She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
