So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
