it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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