that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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