In the future we'll all be gay
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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