wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
