happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
