i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She told me I should be a condom model.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
