Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
