not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
