im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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