My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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