shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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