Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
