Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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