something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
