Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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