Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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