So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
