So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
