And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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