This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
