Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
