i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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