What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
