you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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