Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
