I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
