u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
