Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
