Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
