I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
handjob tips. give me some.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
