Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

i was born a porn star she said

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow

(802): View more from Vermont

Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow

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(805): View more from California

I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(212): View more from New York

You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.

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(347): View more from New York

i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had

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(480): View more from Arizona

he seriously made his penis a facebook.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I want to be your penis for a week.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Carver called his mom a milf again

(1-616): View more from Michigan

Was it on purpose this time?

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