So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.