Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice" http://tfl.nu/bgbh
  Replies (18) Good night (3901) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like. http://tfl.nu/svkw
  Replies (42) Good night (2725) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration? http://tfl.nu/14rv
  Replies (13) Good night (688) Bad night (5713)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (830): Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas http://tfl.nu/3mgi
  Replies (9) Good night (941) Bad night (2874)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme. http://tfl.nu/6yp3
  Replies (14) Good night (2714) Bad night (1194)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups. http://tfl.nu/oj47
  Replies (13) Good night (3559) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious http://tfl.nu/9ib6
  Replies (14) Good night (3372) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point http://tfl.nu/8yzz
  Replies (2) Good night (1243) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed. http://tfl.nu/jlau
  Replies (3) Good night (628) Bad night (1792)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog. http://tfl.nu/rc38
  Replies (5) Good night (1668) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I have dibs on his crisis of faith.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I have dibs on his crisis of faith. http://tfl.nu/qzr2
  Replies (1) Good night (843) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy http://tfl.nu/f6ow
  Replies (5) Good night (659) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple... http://tfl.nu/apqw
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school. http://tfl.nu/cu89
  Replies (1) Good night (803) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine. http://tfl.nu/ulb5
  Replies (3) Good night (496) Bad night (236)

Randomize