I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face