Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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