So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.