so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping