somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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