I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
