his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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