she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
