I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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