shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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