I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize