At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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