Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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