Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
