can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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