Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
