I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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