He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Enjoy the penises
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
