Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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