You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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