i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
