I seem to have left my pride at pride
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
