They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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