Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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