he puts the penis in happiness.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Still dying that you shit outside
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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