the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
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im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
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I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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