3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
