Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i now understand why vodka
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
