at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
smell my finger.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
