Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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