Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
