I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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