So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
