it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
